Two of the things “they” say every man should buy at least once is a glass of fucking expensive ass scotch an equally expensive watch. The difference between the two is that you can’t empty a watch. Don’t let the benjamins you just threw at the hot waitress fool you; you can definitely empty a glass eighty year-old of scotch. Unless the scotch is so expensive, the glass automatically refills itself with new scotch. Unless it’s magic scotch.

Watches are magic scotch. You should get one.